Thanksgiving Is The Worst Holiday Ever: Let’s Talk About It

November. The leaves are changing colors, falling to the ground as they shrivel up and get crushed by pedestrians; the same way the souls of the youth are crushed after Halloween is over.

Everyone is getting ready for Christmas: the decorations, the advertisements, Mariah Carey, etc., etc. We’re already over Halloween…but Christmas isn’t exactly just around the corner, so what gives? 

The answer is quite simple, and it ruins everything–Thanksgiving is a blight on American society.

Thanksgiving is better off completely forgotten by everybody.

In November of 1621, the Plymouth colonists and the Wampanoag tribe shared a fine feast, although it is widely misremembered considering that the pilgrims killed the Native people right after the first Thanksgiving. It’s an entire holiday based off of genocide, but you don’t even need to bring this up to understand why Thanksgiving is the worst.

The cultural significance of Thanksgiving is next to none. You will never see anybody get excited for the day of turkey the same way they do for Christmas, Halloween, or even something like Easter. 

My little sister has gotten more excited over Veteran’s Day than Thanksgiving, and you know what, I’m proud of her for that reaction. 

Simply put, Thanksgiving isn’t a cultural phenomenon and nobody treats it that way either, so there is really no point of defending it as such.

Now, I do think there is one thing that gets people excited for Thanksgiving, and that is the feast itself. I will admit, eating a bunch of food and not killing Natives is actually really cool, but let me ask a question: do you not eat every other day of the year? 

There is nothing stopping anybody from eating turkey and ham and all that good stuff on any other day. Plus, if it’s a big feast on an exciting holiday that you want, then just wait for Christmas, which is mathematically 42 times better.

Thanksgiving as a holiday doesn’t give anybody any kind of joy. It feels a lot more like another boring day in the year than it does a special occasion to get excited for. But hey, we get an entire week off of school, so maybe it’s not all bad.